Aug 3, 2010
21:01
I caught a glimpsed of my past on the bus yesterday and i was afraid, so I shunned.
She was dressed in red and with a friend that she happened to meet.
I just couldn't go up to say "Hi" or even make myself visible for any oppourtunity, I hid in the crowd.
There is just too much of fear beneath my skin. I cannot confront it.
I slipped out of the bus along with her.
******
I've deleted my entire inbox. Those messages kept for years in a metaphorical box.
I wonder if that had deleted you from my life.
I had deliberately let go, stop trying. It may be better for us this way. Perhaps we still have a long way to grow. Have you given up your grip already? Or did you let go far earlier than me?
******
My mid-year GP paper made it into the GP bulletin.
If I hadn't made a U-turn, I wouldn't have this chance.
U-turning has impacted me in so many ways I cant even begin to list them out.
And I continue to evade some, evading my past.
Am I now but a shade of myself, or have I always been a shade?
快不快乐,与悲不悲伤。
Jul 13, 2010
22:47
I'm still playing bejeweled blitz now because I am afraid to go to sleep.
I'm afraid of finding out all the mid-year exam question papers.
I'm afraid that i cannot sleep, just like the past two days, or rather nights.
A whole life of insecerity and fear.
I don't expect anyone to understand because they can't, just like how it is impossible for me to understand anyone.
I just need company.
Almost all my sentence start with "I". Yes I am egocentric. Who isn't?
I'm afriad of confessions, confrontations, accusations, devastation, raging emotions.
The child in me is always malnourished, she has never had a chance to grow up amidst all the fear that is stricken.
Spasmic reflexes in bed.
快不快乐,与悲不悲伤。
Jul 12, 2010
12:10
Cleaned up the links.
Changed picture.
快不快乐,与悲不悲伤。
Jul 2, 2010
13:57
lost my wallet today.
bewildering.
hopefully, it would be found soon.
快不快乐,与悲不悲伤。
Jun 24, 2010
18:58
Flash is temporarily down so I'm bored. Installing Adobe CS4 so the adobe stuff in the com is currently disrupted until the installation is done. (I think)
Anyway (urgh I'm really lazy to type the capital letter) was thinking what i want to do as a career.
Stuff i really like are writing, knitting (not as a career though, that would be real cheap labour), occasional artistic bursts.
Seems like I would face lots of difficulties trying to make money. But I want to be rich ! Damn it.
The art life is a gloomy one in the face of finances.
快不快乐,与悲不悲伤。